Men's Secret Languages Translation

“I’M GOING FISHING”:
Translated: I’m going to drink myself stupid and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST . . . I JUST HAVE LOTS OF
THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: “Is that woman over there wearing a bra?”

“IT’S A GUY THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“UH HUH, SURE, HONEY,” or, “YES, DEAR.”
Translated: (Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.)

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to “F-Troop,” the address of the first girl I ever kissed, the license plate numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but can’t remember your birthday.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“I DUNNO . . . I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND I GOT YOU THESE
ROSES.”
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF; IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
Translated: “I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.”

“I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
Translated: “. . . and I sure hope I think of some soon.”

“I HEARD YOU.”
Translated: “I have no idea what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t find out.

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me and I realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh God, please don’t try on MORE clothes.”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “We are hopelessly lost and no one will ever see us alive again.